Girl Talk

People is the face of a place. I will remember beautiful place for many reasons, but most often because of its people. People is the main determining factor for me to feel that i belong to certain place or not. Among those people there are few, sometimes too few, beautiful person(s).

Different people has their own judgement of what is beautiful person. Some judge by their outer physical appearances, many of us judge from the other side, i.e: inner side, personality, characters, even by their mind, soul and preferences. I belong to the second group. I dont judge book by its cover, ummm…sometimes i do, but only to decide whether or not i want to glance into the list of content

Along my three decades of life, different persons touched mine, leave a trails over time and much later develop a certain pathway which contributes significantly to who i am now. They all have one thing in common: they are all beautiful persons. And many of them become my friends for life. It doesnt matter where they come from, which belief they hold on to, which certain group they belong to. Some of them, i never see again till now, but for sure they teach me something that made me a much better person and help me go to another level in my Big, Real Life school.

So what does it take to be a beautiful person? For me its about certain qualities that is applied universally. Values and beliefs, of course, are not universal, but still humanities are universal. Beautiful persons are those who holds and believes in humanities. And they rigourously practice it in their daily life It reflects though in their aura: beautiful person usually shines, glows, stands out in the crowds and attract crowds as well So how beautiful are you?

When we meet the right person to love when we’re at the right place at  the right time, that’s chance.
When you meet someone you’re attracted to, that’s not a choice.That’s chance.
Being caught up in a moment (and there’s a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice.

That’s also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterwards.

When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?
That’s when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether  you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.
If  you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that’s not a  chance.

That’s choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that’s choice.
Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to  love your mate just the same, that’s choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance.

But true love that lasts is truly a choice.
A choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there’s a beautiful movie quote that I believe  is  so true about this: " Fate brings you together, but it’s still up to you to make it happen."

I do believe that soul mates do exist. That there is truly someone made for you. But it’s still up to you to  make the choice if you’re going to do something about it or not. We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with our soul mates is still a choice we have to make.

We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love…
  BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly…

When people asked me ‘What you value most in your life?’ i would say it will be friends and family and love. Or other things maybe for other people, but for me those are things i value most in my life. Friends are like rainbow in our life, like a glitter in the star, like a candies in my few-favorite-things-box, like a flowers in the florist (cause i dont have flowers in my garden..), like a crayons in my drawing kits, like….any different thing you can think of. Without them your life would be very boring, empty, colourless, souless and clueless. I had, have and would like have a friend from all walks of life in different places and different time spaces. Those are people that i saw might be once, twice, couple of times or i see them till now, but they are still my friends (just out of curiousity, can you call someone your ex friend??).

Friendship is a different story. You can have millions of friends, but must be fewer friendships. Friendship is an evolution of friends, just like a beautiful butterfly comes out of an catterpilar. Friendship comes out when along the way and along the time you share your (moments in) life with your friends and somehow it creates bind between you. Friendship needs to be tested in different circumstances.

For me, it looks very much like an investment. You need to invest certain amount of commitment, hard work, time, forgiveness and good faith in friendship. Without that, you would least likely to have a good return. Of course along the way, just like any other investment, you might gain and you might lose, you might got a windfall profit or you might totally bankrupt But the key is really, keep a good balance for both.

There is thing that differenciate friendship with usual investment. Since you invest so much on intangible matters, i.e emotion and feeling, it has to be an ethical investment.There are certain principles and values that both parties shared and agreed on. I had some long-standing friends, but we are not in friendship because of above reason. Recently, i cut off one of my friendship, because of the breach of principles and values and it really hurts. It almost like a bad break-ups in love relationship and made me really broken-hearted, feel betrayed and shattered.

To make the long story short, do invest in friends and try to convert it into friendship as much as you can, cause it really pay-off later. But it has to be both ways, with principles and values that both parties agreed, shared and hold. Otherwise you will only be a willing victims of emotional abused. But yes, friends and friendship is all you need in this crazy world