When people asked me ‘What you value most in your life?’ i would say it will be friends and family and love. Or other things maybe for other people, but for me those are things i value most in my life. Friends are like rainbow in our life, like a glitter in the star, like a candies in my few-favorite-things-box, like a flowers in the florist (cause i dont have flowers in my garden..), like a crayons in my drawing kits, like….any different thing you can think of. Without them your life would be very boring, empty, colourless, souless and clueless. I had, have and would like have a friend from all walks of life in different places and different time spaces. Those are people that i saw might be once, twice, couple of times or i see them till now, but they are still my friends (just out of curiousity, can you call someone your ex friend??).

Friendship is a different story. You can have millions of friends, but must be fewer friendships. Friendship is an evolution of friends, just like a beautiful butterfly comes out of an catterpilar. Friendship comes out when along the way and along the time you share your (moments in) life with your friends and somehow it creates bind between you. Friendship needs to be tested in different circumstances.

For me, it looks very much like an investment. You need to invest certain amount of commitment, hard work, time, forgiveness and good faith in friendship. Without that, you would least likely to have a good return. Of course along the way, just like any other investment, you might gain and you might lose, you might got a windfall profit or you might totally bankrupt But the key is really, keep a good balance for both.

There is thing that differenciate friendship with usual investment. Since you invest so much on intangible matters, i.e emotion and feeling, it has to be an ethical investment.There are certain principles and values that both parties shared and agreed on. I had some long-standing friends, but we are not in friendship because of above reason. Recently, i cut off one of my friendship, because of the breach of principles and values and it really hurts. It almost like a bad break-ups in love relationship and made me really broken-hearted, feel betrayed and shattered.

To make the long story short, do invest in friends and try to convert it into friendship as much as you can, cause it really pay-off later. But it has to be both ways, with principles and values that both parties agreed, shared and hold. Otherwise you will only be a willing victims of emotional abused. But yes, friends and friendship is all you need in this crazy world

Those born under the influence of the Ox are fortunate to be stable and persevering. The typical Ox is a tolerant person with strong character. Not many people could equal the resolution and fearlessness the Ox exhibits when deciding to accomplish a task or an objective. As we used this great creature long ago to plow the soil day after day, so do Ox people labor through their daily responsibilities either at work or at home without complaint or gripe. Oxen know they will succeed through hard work and sustained effort and find no truth or benefit in concocting get-rich-quick schemes.

THE SIGN OF THE OX

Pragmatic and down-to-earth, Ox people are motivated to work hard and have no respect for lazy or careless people. Although they can be easily trusted and find it easy to put trust in others, they are not dependent on friends and family and would rather find an answer or a solution themselves than to ask these people for help or guidance. However, others can, without a doubt rely on Oxen, who are always honest and meticulous about their responsibilities. While they do not feel the need for many distant or acquaintance-oriented friendships, they value the strong bonds they share with their partners and families, and make close friends that last a lifetime.

Though they are quite open-minded, once Ox people have made a decision about something, they rarely change it. This is a defining characteristic that can be seen as obstinacy, but it is actually the way an Ox learns to be strong, brave and straightforward. It is the way the Ox learned to take on tasks and responsibilities and how he learns to be reliable for others. Oxen are more comfortable with the well-known as opposed to the unfamiliar. Yet, beneath their unpretentious, tranquil exterior lies a heart of gold and a motivation to prosper.

OXEN FACTS:

People born in the Year of the Ox share certain characteristics. The Ox sign is an abbreviated way of characterizing that individual’s personality. Following are features associated with the sign of the Ox.

Second in order, Chinese name—NIU, sign of industry

Hour—1am-2:59am Month—January

Western Counterpart—Capricorn

CHARACTERISTICS

Obstinate, Pouty, Truthful, Motivated, Friendly, Apathetic, Genuine, Quick-tempered

THE WATER OX (1973)

The Water element gives the Ox a flexibility and liberty. Water Oxen are as hard-working as anyone, and particularly systematic, and are probably the quickest-thinking of the other elemental Oxen. They are much more prepared than the other Oxen to recognize the pints of view of others and to think about their ideas and suggestions, making them easy to work with in a business environment. They generally consider the feelings of others which makes them good roommates or partners. In addition, their sincerity and patience ensures their popularity with friends, peers and family.

CAPRICORN OX

Capricornian Oxen are made of true resolute. A sustained effort allows them to achieve a very comfortable way of life. They are conservative and responsible and will work long hours to provide their loved ones with security and comfort.

HEALTH

People born under the sign of the Ox usually have strong codes and work ethics. This can lead to a tendency to be a workaholic, and they should make an effort to relax more. Many Oxen work in relatively stationary occupations, and would benefit from squeezing a little exercise into their routines. They are prone to bone and joint problems - especially the knees - and must pay special attention to these areas. However, Ox people are usually strong and robust, and, according to ancient wisdom, should be blessed with long lives.

AT HOME WITH THE OX

The Ox’s home is his castle, a place where he finds relaxation and peace from the everyday hustle and bustle of his career or responsibilities. This is where he spends time with his friends and loved ones. The Ox person doesn’t put a lot of effort into making his house stylish, for he would much rather be comfortable while reading the newspaper or watching television. He doesn’t spend much time indoors anyway—he wants to be outside, smelling the air, planting gardens and trees, which will usually be evidenced by the botanical literature you will find on his bookshelf or on his coffee table. Ox people prefer to live in the country. The Ox generally prefers to decorate his home with nature’s colors, i.e. golds, greens and oranges. However, since the Ox is associated with January, winter colors might be more appealing.

THE OX ON THE JOB

Able, ethical and aware, colleagues of the Ox will marvel at their methodical approach and will depend on their eyes for detail. Oxen are not phased by routines, probably because they are so well-organized. They are better-suited for specialized positions and prefer to work in large companies. They do, however, work best when they work alone since they can be unhappy when participating in a large group.

MONEY AND THE OX

Oxen believe in security, and thus don’t usually take wild risks or financial gambles. They are meticulous about spending money and work hard to ensure they will be able to retire comfortably.

OX CAREERS

Those born in the Year of the Ox share the same kinds of goals and objectives in life. The occupations best suited for the Ox are listed below:

OX MAKE EXCELLENT:

Painters

Interior designers

Carpenters

Mechanics

Horticulturists

Engineers

Draftsmen

Architects

Army Officers

Managers

Quarry Workers

Academics

Archeologists

Osteopaths

Physioherapists

Bankers

Investment brokers

Real estate agents

LIKES AND DISLIKES

The Ox is a lover of stability, a great traditionalist and a homemaker. Rarely would you expect an Ox person to be an extrovert pleasure-seeker. They are happiest in the peace of their own home territory.

Oxen Like:

Color Preference: Violet

Gems and Stones: Jade, Emerald, Moss-Agate, Lapis-Lazuli

Suitable Gifts: Kitchen accessories, gardening and planting books, cookbooks, bonsai trees

Hobbies and Pastimes: Body-Building, Baking, Gardening, Listening to music, Sewing

Oxen Dislike: Making small talk, foolish games, feeling insecure

THE OX VACATION

Actually, Oxen are homebodies, preferring the lure of the sofa or the garden to extravagant vacations far away from home. They are very happy just staying at home, spending their summer vacations catching up with the hobbies and pastimes that their workloads have prevented them from taking on previously. Whether they are planting flower beds, or enjoying a sunset on their newly-built front porch, it is all quite satisfying to them. If they do decide to take a trip, you can bet they’ll head for the hills to do some hiking or rock climbing.

FRIENDS AND ENEMIES

Oxen are not the most sociable people and tend not to mix easily in social gatherings. Instead, they would rather be at home, enjoying their privacy and anonymity. Unlike the Rat, the Monkey, or the Rooster, the Oxen tend not to have a little black book, preferring a few very loyal friends to a large network of acquaintances. Oxen do know how to shine at social occasions, but more often than not they dislike small talk. These are wary people, unlikely to ignite friendships on the spur of the moment. They like to take their time and get to know people before disclosing themselves fully. A happy, solid relationship with their partner and children is the most satisfying goal they could accomplish.

OX PARENTS AND CHILDREN

Oxen make very protective parents. People born under this sign will unselfishly work their fingers to the bone to provide a thriving, happy and secure home where their children feel safe. In return, however, the Ox mother and father demand that their youngsters be courteous, respectful and polite. In comparison to other parents, Oxen can seem a bit authoritarian but they are conventional and believe in instilling within their children a belief system. A good education is especially important and by utilizing their educational opportunities, Oxen children can make their lives and relationships with their parents a lot easier. Ox parents expect their children to listen, behave and be attentive while they are at school. Showing rebellion is the fastest way to be punished in the Oxen household.

Oxen, especially female Oxen, tend to start their families early on and completely immerse themselves in caring for and parenting their children. This can lead to dependent children and can pose a problem for parents who are trying to teach their children to become self-reliant.

THE OX LOVER

Oxen dislike chit-chat. They don’t have fun at parties and as aforementioned, don’t have a ton of friends. They are not very sociable and would rather be spending their time at home with their families. When the Ox is in love, he does not confirm his feelings verbally, preferring to show you how he feels rather than tell you. An Ox will take a long time to decide if you are the right match for him because Oxen hate change, and want to find someone who is ready to embark upon a stable marriage. Oxen never rush into anything and are not flirtatious people. Once they have committed to you they will usually be faithful and expect reciprocation of their honorable actions.

Capricorn is one of the most stable and (mostly) serious of the zodiacal types. These independent, rocklike characters have many sterling qualities. They are normally confident, strong willed and calm. These hardworking, unemotional, shrewd, practical, responsible, persevering, and cautious to the extreme persons, are capable of persisting for as long as is necessary to accomplish a goal they have set for themselves. They are reliable workers in almost any profession they undertake. They are the major finishers of most projects started by the ‘pioneering’ signs; with firm stick-to-it-ness they quickly become the backbone of any company they work for.

Capricornians make of themselves, resourceful, determined managers; setting high standards for themselves and others. They strive always for honesty in their criticism of self, they respect discipline from above and demand it from those beneath them. In their methodical, tough, stubborn, unyielding way, they persist against personal hardship, putting their families and/or their work before their own needs and welfare to reach their objectives long after others have given up and fallen by the wayside. In fact when practical ability allied with the drive of ambition are required in employees to make a project succeed, Capricornians are the people to hire. They plan carefully to fulfill their ambitions (which often include becoming wealthy), they are economical without meanness, and able to achieve great results with minimum effort and expense. Because of their organizing ability they are able to work on several projects simultaneously.

They have a great respect for authority but may not, if they reach high rank, be willing to listen to other opinions on things they are directly responsible for. As the ranking authority figure in a given situation they expect their underlings to be as self disciplined as they themselves are, and to perform every task undertaken to the highest standard. They are, nevertheless, fair as well as demanding. Among their equals they are not always the most pleasant of work fellows for they are reserved and too conservative, valuing tradition more than innovation, however valuable the latter, and they are often humorless. There is also a tendency to pessimism, melancholy and even unhappiness which many Capricornians are unable to keep to themselves, especially if they fail personally. In the extreme this trait can make them a very depressed individual; ecstatic happiness alternating with the most wretched kind of misery which is so subconsciously buried that he or she should seek help if such emotions become frequent. For the above reason, capable Capricorn should spend many hours in meditation, gathering the strength to control such inner emotions.

The swings in mood are not the only reason some Capricornians deserve the adjective based on their name - capricious. They can be surprisingly and suddenly witty and subtle for the quiet, reserved individuals they seem to be, and they also have a tendency to ruin things by unexpected and utterly irresponsible bouts of flippancy. In certain individuals in whom the characteristic is strong, the temptation to do this has to be resisted with iron self-control. Another unexpected quality in some Capricornians is an interest in the occult which persists in spite of their naturally skeptical turn of mind.

Their intellects are sometimes very subtle. They think profoundly and deeply, throughly exploring all possibilities before deciding on a ’safe’ alternative. They have good memories and an insatiable yet methodical desire for knowledge. They are rational, logical and clearheaded, have good concentration, delight in debate in which they can show off their cleverness by luring their adversaries into traps and confounding them with logic.

In their personal relationships they are often ill-at-ease, if not downright unhappy. They are somewhat self-centered but not excessively so, wary and cautious around people they do not know very well, preferring not to meddle with others and in turn not to allow interference with themselves, thus they tend to attract people who do not understand them. Casual acquaintances they will treat with diplomacy, tact and, above all, reticence. They make few good friends but are intensely loyal to those they do make, and they can become bitter, and powerful enemies. They sometimes dislike the opposite sex and test the waters of affection gingerly before judging the temperature right for marriage. Once married, however, they are faithful, though inclined to jealousy. Most Capricornians marry for life.

Their occupations can include most professions that have to do with math or money and they are strongly attracted to music. They can be economists, financiers, bankers, speculators, contractors, managers and real estate brokers. They excel as bureaucrats, especially where projects demanding long-term planning and working are concerned, and their skill in debate and love of dialectic make them good politicians. They are excellent teachers, especially as principals of educational establishments where they have the authority to manage and organize without too much intimacy with the staff members. If working with their hands, they can become practical scientists, engineers, farmers and builders. The wit and flippancy which is characteristic of certain Capricornians may make some turn to entertainment as a career.

Sprituality is something everybody has or had to certain extent.  And believe to a power beyond humanity is part of it.  Some believe in God, some does not. I am not in a position, and i dont want to whatsoever, judge on your belief or saying one is worse or better than others.  I just would like to ask question to those who believe: how close we are to God?

This question was coming to my mind when one of my closest person is completely converted and devoted herself to God.  It is actually good for her and I am so happy for her enlightment (p.s:that is how she describe what happened to her).  She said she feel much closer to God than ever.

Then it hits me: when was the last time i feel i close to God?Or have i been ever feel close to God?  The question stayed in my mind and forced me to think it over. 

Human tends to turn to their spritual belief when they are in trouble and seek for a consolation.  It is very humane though.  And at that time we felt so much closer to God and promised to be a better person when things get better.  How many times we lived up with our promises?  Why we should wait for doing good stuff and so easy to forget our own promises?

The answer is because its easier!  And we dont necessarily see the consequences of our broken promises.  Only if we want to believe what goes around, comes around, then it might be difficult to see. 

Closeness is really tested when you have the world on your side and not the other way around.  When you are on top of the world, then you can do your closeness check-up.  If you still look for the God to guide you and wish He shows you the way forward, then that you can claim that you are close to Him.  Trust me, it is more difficult than when you are turn to Him when your world is downsizing…

People love to be fall in love (who doesnt anyway?). Sometimes i wonder whether people love to be fall in ‘love’ itself or just ‘fall in love’. For me the second explains better. I am a happy woman by any standard, but i love to fall in love. I fall in love regularly and intensively with anything. But most often, of course, with a man. 

However, i restrained to be forced to fall in love by other people, including the man i fall for. I take control in a relationship over my feeling. One thing i hate most is turned to be a fool when i fall for someone . But of course,this wont always the case. That is what i called the risk # 1 of being in love.

Another thing is about self-image. I guess every one of us live up to certain belief of who we are. I am proud of my self-image as a thirty-something woman who knows what i wants in life. But when i do fall in love, there are many things that doesnt fit into the old frame. I found its quite amazing how much i transform my self-image into something that i dont even consider in my daily life. I give you a concrete example. In normal circumstances, i know that i am a very strong-willed woman cos i know if there is a will there will be a way. But in my love-dominated circumstances i believe i was born to be a complete follower, sometimes. I dont say necessarily its bad, but its just clearly outlined the risk # 2: your self-image about yourself might not be true

Self-image might not all you will sacrifice for when you are fall in love. The more worrying scenario for me is how much i am wiling to compromise myself before i turn into completely a new person,i.e: risk # 3. Sometimes when you are fall in love, you want to be able to like, or might be just tolerate, whatever the people you fall for like. I hate alternative music up to my single bone, but recently i fall for a man who will die for a ticket for a Green Day concert. And guess what, i still alive after listening to Green Day. What i am trying to say is falling in love makes you do things you never considered doing it before.

Risk # 4 is you can have a temporary, and might be permanent perceived handicaps. You blind, you deaf, you numb, you cant move because of love. You blind cos you only see the good things and you might fall for the wrong male species. You deaf cos you dont want to hear the hurtful truth that might ruin your love tale. You numb cos you dont want to tell what you really mean, what you really think and how things should be. Somehow love can chained you so strongly and in many occasions its hurt, ouuccchh….you cant move! Scary huh?

Risk # 5 is you might do things you will regret it later. This is only a logical consequences of risk # 1-4

However, the question now is do we need to scary to fall in love? For me, the consequences of sad and bad love affairs is similar with when i taste bad food. It makes you throw out, and sometimes sick, but it doesnt stop you from eating. You will die if you go for a hunger strike just because of bad food, even with some food-poisoning cases. Same story for bad love stories. And beside, hey…love is all we need to live up our boring life!

Another argument to defend my constant and regular fall for love is again, like a food testing. You want something that is not available everyday in your plate, thats why once in a while you dine out in a restaurant. When you find a good place to eat you tend to make it your favorite restaurant and you go there every now and then. But you cant afford to go there for every meal! Even if you do, it will lose its specialness and it become regular for you and again soon you will find another restaurant. So really the key is how to keep its specialness. Same advice for fall in love; Enjoy every moment of it but dont crave for it three meals a day! If we take the analogy for a food further, as any dedicated food hunter do, look for a review, listen to what the crowds said, taste, learn, taste and learn…and before you know you might enjoy the sensation that it bring! (Note: I am not saying that you should convert to be like me)

Last but not least, is it bad to find a new restaurant while you already have a good favorite restaurant and good cook at home? I dont think so. Life is too short to waste on only few things. Besides, at the end of the day you will only comeback to the best…